Who you are right now is everything you learned or didn't learn, got or didn't get, had or didn't have (you get the idea) in your childhood. Traumatic sh*t can happen to us after childhood, for sure. But I would still bet money on the fact that how you learn sh*t as a child sets you up for how you deal with sh*t later.
*disclaimer about links...I've linked to as many things as I can. Sometimes things get moved or disappeared but hopefully there's enough info for you to search for yourself if you need to.
Shefali Tsabary: The Awakened Family The most influential thing I've heard as a former child and as a parent on parenting from ego. EVERYONE needs to hear this.
We Can Do Hard Things Ep 97 How Family Secrets Shape Us: Emotional Inheritance with Dr. Galit Atlas
Mark Groves Podcast Attachment 101with Silvy Khoucasian
Mark Groves Podcast Healing is Multi-Dimensional with Dr. Mariel Buque (intergenerational, generational and collective trauma)
Healing with David Kessler this is a podcast dedicated to grief but this particular linked episode dives into intergenerational trauma, David uses the words "grief" and "trauma" interchangeably.
Mark Groves Podcast How to change unwanted patterns in life and love with Vienna Pharoan (this will go in Relational Sh*t too)
Navigating Narcissism with Dr. Ramani. I'm putting this whole podcast on almost all these pages because, well, narcissists cause a lot of sh*t.
WCDHT Healing from emotionally immature parents and Disentangling from emotionally immature people Unfortunately, emotionally immature people are everywhere and if you were raised by them, this might help you understand how to deal with them.
Healing Your Emotional Self- Beverly Engel
Attached- Amir Lavine & Rachel Heller
*a little disclaimer about this..attachment theory has been mostly hijacked by authors writing about romantic relationships, it's fine, our attachment style definitely affects these relationships. But it affects ALL relationships, because, well, it affects how we relate. Either way, this book gives a good break down of attachment styles and is a good reference for getting started in understanding yours.
What Happened to You? Bruce D. Perry
No Bad Parts- Richard Schwartz
How To Do The Work-Dr. Nicole LePera
Transforming Trauma- James Gordon MD
The Origins of You- Vienna Pharaon
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents-Lindsay C. Gibson
You Don't Look Adopted-Anne Heffron *self-disclosure; as an adopted person, this one hits.
The 2 Big Misconceptions About Trauma w Dr James Gordon a 7 min video describing the misconceptions of trauma. We all experience it, everyone.
The Genetics Myth a 15 minute YouTube video with Gabor Mate, Robert Sapolsky and others about the myth of disease and behavior being genetic. For anyone who thinks they are doomed to anything based on their parents/family medical or psychological history.
The Attachment Project take a quiz to find out your style
@theholisticpsychologist Instagram page with lots of good sh*t
Childhood Trauma Splitting and Complex Trauma This is one page on a website with other good sh*t too. Written for highly sensitive people but also informative for any of us.
What Is Great Parenting? Dr. Shefali Tsabary This is a YouTube interview/talk. You do not have to be a parent to learn a sh*t ton from this. You will see your own parents in this and understand yourself better and be able to better reparent yourself (you're doing that right?).
Learning self-regulation through self-attunement speaking of reparenting yourself..this is an excellent little video about how anxious and avoidant types express (or don't) their emotions and how to give yourself the attunement you did not get.
Open to suggestions!
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